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October 2008

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black crin

obskura in askpoly

How do I talk to my partner about norms in their other relationships that bother me, to the point that they have a negative impact on my relationship with them?

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How do they impact you? Do they offend you, make you worry about him/her, impede your trust in him/her? Is there drama that's spilling over into your life? How much of the discomfort/impact is it fair or appropriate to ask them to reduce, and how much do you think should you manage it from your side?
It's now more of a "what do i do next time" thing, since I've since broken up with the person I was referring to. I felt that the way he and his primary SO interacted when I was over, and I was wondering how I could express this. I wrote about an extreme example that had occurred, the issue was "how to i tell my partner this isn't ok?"